Myth #2 Elitist Academics Don’t Bother to Work During the Summer
Why should we? The majority of us have nine-month contracts, which means, unless we opt to stretch out our paychecks over the year, three months out of the year we don’t get paid. Who works for free? I mean who would continue to direct undergraduate and graduate student projects, hold dissertation defenses, meet to discuss job materials, review reference letters and fellowship applications, conduct research, draft or complete a book and/or articles, plan courses, update existing course materials, review books, read new work to stay current in the field, serve on committees, and answer work-related email if they didn’t get paid?
Certainly, not me or any other elitist I know. So to clarify, lazy elitists do no work in the summer, in part because we don’t get paid to do so, but mostly because it would get in the way of our wine sipping and Mediterranean beach combing, and, oh yea, our summer teaching schedules.
Now, on to other business. Today marks the end of my first month of blogging. [Insert wild uncontrollable applause here.] I have tried to be diligent and stick to a schedule, posting every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, only flubbing once, as it happens, this week, which explains the double-post today. What I have discovered thus far is that I absolutely love being the elitistacademic, and there is no way that I can keep up this schedule because it is interfering with my devotion to sloth, the aversion to work, not the mammal. So I will dial back my posting, but try my best to keep at it; otherwise, how else is Entertainment Weekly going to find me so they can ask me to be their academic consultant and contributing writer? Hey, some people dream of leaving it all behind to stay home and make jam. This is kind of like that, but you know, better.
Hugs,
EA
I find this first month wildly successful and as such would like to throw out some ideas for future posts:
1) Please explain Zooey Deschanel. I find there to be some sort of “elitist” love for her that I absolutely cannot understand.
2) I’d like you to address this myth, continued in version 2.2, about how much email elitistacademics are supposed to answer. Seeing as how we are paid for only 9 months of the year, are we paid for 24 hours a day to answer email?
3) Could you please continue the Missoni post and predict what the next new craze will be? And then figure out how to GET SOME?
4) Biggest surprise of the TV fall season so far.
5) Favorite trendy snack item of the moment.
6) I’d also like to see you do something with commercials.
7) Perhaps some recipes for other elitistacademics that can be paired with both watching television and grading papers.
That is all.
Posted by LD | October 5, 2011, 12:25 pmDear LD,
Thank you for your support and for your suggestions, which I will have a go at:
1.) Alas, I cannot explain Zooey because I can’t stand watching her long enough to see what’s going on there. However, I believe her to be the Jenna Elfman of her generation, which explains nothing and everything.
2.) Email is tricky. For example, I once sat answering email for nine hours straight with bathroom breaks of course, because gross otherwise. NINE hours. I only managed to get through about 60. So how much are we expected to answer? I know some EAs who cut that mess off at 5 p.m. on Friday and do not pick it back up until 8 a.m. Monday morning, and I kinda admire that. Unfortunately, that’s not me, which is why the time stamps on my emails often say things like 3:00 a.m.
3.) Next craze. RETURNING all of the Missoni will be the next craze. People are going to go NUTS for this. All the zigzaggity bowls and vases and linens and storage boxes, but not the suitcases or the sweater vests will be in those return bins hasta pronto. Here again, so many people will be on the outs because they have none of this shiza to return. In other words, they miss out not once, but twice, which is just another slap in the face on the part of Target.
4.) “2 Broke Girls” picked up for the season? Definitely benefiting from lazy people not changing the channel after HIMYM or not knowing how to properly program the DVR for only 30 minutes.
5.) Cheez-It Duoz, Sharp Cheddar/Parmesan
6.) Can you be more specific here? I will say that the best commercials are those that concern themselves with story first and product hawking second http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R55e-uHQna0. As much as I like this commercial, every single bit of this is to reinforce class, and everyone knows that Vader didn’t give a flying flip about class. It was all about power and control, power and c-o-n-t-r-o-l.
7.) 7-Layer Dip goes with everything and can easily be wiped off papers, leaving behind only a vague schmear. And look how cute these look in smallish jars: http://savorysweetlife.com/2010/02/seven-layer-dip-recipe/.
Hugz, EA
Posted by elitistacademic | October 5, 2011, 4:17 pmGlad I’m not the only person unimpressed by Zooey Deschanel, a woman with little talent and even less charisma.
Posted by michelle | October 7, 2011, 11:55 am