Recognizing that no one is going to want to read the elitistacademic dogging on fifty-something films, instead of focusing on the completely self-indulgent opening credits, drawing attention to the cacophony of random extra-Swedish dialects, or even pondering the necessity of this film being made at all, I’m going to say only positive things about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
- Daniel Craig looks absolutely amazing in a ¾-length wool trench.
- Robin Wright is pretty, and her indiscernible accent is totally fluid.
- Craig certainly knows his way around a cigarette, which is refreshing because there is nothing worse than someone pretending to smoke who has no first-hand knowledge. [Okay, there is something worse: no liquid in movie prop coffee cups. Note: liquid has weight.]
- Roony Mara had way more piercings than Noomi Rapace.
- Mara’s dragon tattoo is also more dragony.
- Julian Sands as a young Christopher Plummer is totally convincing. The resemblance is unnerving.
- Stellan Skarsgård’s boots in the press conference scene were A-M-A-Z-I-N-G but unfortunately not as cool as these:
- Depicting Libeth as brilliant as she actually is in the novel would have made the movie too much like the book.
- It was a good thing they decided to cut the scene in the Outback, which would have made the ending clear. This way there’s more mystery.
- All edgy, self-aware movies should be almost three hours long and lack narrative integration.
Bonus: Mara’s relationship with Fincher is totally not creepy. Just ask anyone.